Enter a banking hall and you’ll get a free show of drama even more animated than the outside world.

From long crawling queues to network downtime just when it’s your turn to be attended to, to those that never return your pen after borrowing it (I know how much you loved that black pen!) or those that flirt on the queues …🙄

Honestly, people are the real drama and these six categories say it all.

1. The No-Nonsense Type

The No-nonsense guys are my personal favourites. They eat violence for breakfast and are ready to change it for anybody. Sometimes their anger is justified, other times it’s laughable, especially when they start with the fake accent and sprinkle in some, “Do you know who I am?”

But sir, if you’re truly that person, you shouldn’t be on the queue with “those beneath you”. Sir👀

2. The Misers  

It’s funny how some people deliberately refuse to get ATM debit cards for their savings accounts just so they are not tempted to spend it all. But they end up at the banking halls four times a week to withdraw anyway. What happened to *822#? (Please, are you from this century…🤔).

Just so you know, when people talk about soft life, they’re talking about *822#.

3. The Rude Bank Officer  

These ones have zero chill and loose tongues, and that’s not even on their bad days. Scary lot!  I’ve not had a personal experience with any (at least not at Sterling), but if you bank with anyhow colour, well, I’m sorry you had to go through that.

Sterling officers are on the polite side of town and you could even ask for a cup of coffee at any of our Sterling Branches while you wait. You didn’t know that? Well, try it and thank me later!

4. Senior Citizens

Ever had to help an elderly person fill in a form while at the bank? Aww, look at you, angel in Ankara! (lol, been saving that one😉).

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But seriously, this requires some level of patience you may have to unlock because it might take a whileeeeeee before you get the right info. Phew!

Next time you hear your folks say they want to go to the banking hall, introduce them to the more convenient way to bank – OneBank.

We’ll all thank you for it.

5. The Confused Person  

Whether they came to deposit or cash a cheque, they’re always on the phone confirming and re-confirming, asking multiple questions, not sure what forms to fill, not sure how to fill the form…the confusion is endless 😭

And then they join the wrong queue (sigh)

Not in Sterling though. We have a system that ensures you never have to be without quick answers and solutions. Even our well-trained security officers are always ready to help. You’re welcome!

6. The Smart Banker   

You rarely see these ones in the banking hall – rarely, and only when they know it is extremely necessary. While you spend hours on the queue, they do the smart thing. They Bank from the comfort of their sofa. They can open an account, manage their account, order an ATM card, make foreign and local transactions, speak with their account officers, track their spending and more, all from one app. They are the “Chop life” geng (dem no too like stress). So, if you are tired of the banking hall, you can always join them on OneBank.

Some people don’t fit into any category, some mutants of some kind (omo, no be me you go kill, I no get category for you abeg🤣).

And finally, there is me! The honourable Amebo that goes to the bank to watch people and gather sweet gist😋

So, tell me, where do you belong?

Feel free to add your own below.

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