Serious 10

Other Editions of "Serious".

Independence Edition 2023 

I heard that fuel was going to be N900 and honestly, my people in the north who walk everywhere are the winners here because they’re ready to adapt quicker than everyone. Nomad nature activated for Lagos, make we dey walk everywhere.

In a sad turn of events in the entertainment industry, we lost a bright light and we hope that his light brings a new awakening to such a dark space ‑ Imolenization for the industry forever.

Anyway, tough times don’t last, tough people do. And if there’s one thing I’m sure of, we are tough people. Ehen, happy independence, the labour of our heroes past isn’t in vain because we’re still here, still standing and free. 

Love, Imole and Freedom.

Lady Khaf

 

July Edition 2023 

Everything, everywhere all at once…say them go feel it…

On 29th May, our presidents (former and new) clearly played Davido’s Feel before he got on stage. On day 0, we collected gbas gbos…subsidy GONE…fuel price – gbas, electricity price increase – gbos, rate unification – gbas, student loans – gbos. Everything, everywhere all at once or whatever that Asian movie is called. It is painful but necessary.

Anyway, no need for long talk, I am rationing everything nowadays, including my words, let my spit not also add to my bills. Let those who have ears, hear. The best way to live right now, is to cut your coat, if it’s too small, please manage it like that. Small cover is better than nakedness in the cold.

Be encouraged by KSA – the legend and his lyrics from the Way Forward.

Lady Khaf

April Edition 2023 

I didn’t know the meaning of cash is king till February, my eyes really opened. Anytime you wake up is your good morning sha. I was in a keke one day around the time okadas were banned and the bus driver hailed the keke driver ‘king of the road’, this was the same feeling I had when I encountered POS agents, this no cash period. One thing you must love about our country is that where there’s a casting down, there’ll always be a rising up somewhere. Anyways thank God, that phase is nearly gone now.

In other news, na GenZ dey reign now o, we’ve helped you analyse this new market force. If you’re going to be in business for the next few years, get with their programme, otherwise, you’re cancelled, no cap!

I leave you with my mantra for the next quarter from my song of the moment: “Live to fight another day, Live to fight another day.”

Applaudissez for you,

Lady Khaf

New Year Edition 2023

New Year, New Things

Edition 15 and counting! Happy new year, Serians and congrats in advance on a new government. We’ve provided the details to help you cast your vote. Please vote. And vote wisely! We pray that a new and good dawn will really be here because the things wey our eye don see, e no suppose Re-see!

Someone says they’re setting up a new country and we want to sign up so we’ve brought you the info on how you can also put your head inside quickly. Anywhere there is prosperity, May we always be present. Amen? Amen!!!

In this 2023, my mantra is heavily tied to the vibe king Innocent 2Face Idibia ‘nothing do you’. Happy New Year and soar with ease.

With love,

Lady Khaf

Independence 2022 Edition 

In this edition, we curated information to help you make daily decisions e.g., should FIRS start collecting tax from MC Oluomo and co, will you have learnt the lyrics to the new Asake song before the next one is released, are you cutting back on your meat intake, do you have your PVC because if you don’t, we will be in fire for a longer while – take your civic duty seriously and of course not everyone is leaving Nigeria as social media is purporting.

Lady Khaf.

July Edition 2022 

In this edition, we articulate the 411 on 419 – stay woke, stay alert, no loose guard. May the locust that was MMM not rest on our doors, amen. Nigeria’s inflation took AG Baby’s High too literally, watimagbo sha because fuel queues are back and bread don cost. But my Serians, don’t worry, we also bring you news on how to beat this inflation of a thing – once you have extra cash, everything is ok. Since we are all in a nonsensical situation, we may as well monetize nonsense and waste. You can bank on your plastic waste.

What is most important is that after you read this edition, you obidiently look at yourself and you say ‘Emi lokan’ because this election season truly owo ma wole, e ba yin Oluwa l’ogo – awa lokan!

E gbe kini yi wa.

Lady Khaf.

April Edition 2022

In this edition XII, we explore the intersection of poverty with culture (I was reading an intelligent publication and really needed this sentence) – nothing can stop our giantcy – if I broke na my business! We also believe strongly that the GDP should be rebased/revaluated to include the real giants, the real workers, original gbogbonise – stay at home workers.

If we add more people, will inflation change? Maybe we can use our new entrants into the basket as part of assets to gauge how much loans we can collect? Ok-ok-ok, enough of this, we are just trying to find answers to help us survive this 2022 because honestly, water don pass garri, owu dey blow everywhere, everyone and everything. But you know where there is life, there is hope, so we keep on marching.“

With love,

Lady Khaf.

New Year Edition 2022 

In this edition, we analyse whether covik-19 vaccine or 5G is true. The quarter was a little gloomy based on the stories on bullying that led to the untimely death of a minor – May he Rest In Peace. 

The cost of bullying is too high whether for human preservation or even economic advancement. If we tell you one more time that the economy is as per normal, knock our heads. Walahi, we too are praying for a different analysis. But as usual, we will tell you not to worry, omo iya, we dey your side. 

Nothing new under the sun but we learn new ways to make sunscreen work better.

Love always,

Lady Khaf.

Independence 2021 Edition 

Happy, Happy Independence, that is all I can say, I wish you many, many, many happy returns. Happy independence o, our dear country – the labours of our heroes past shall never be in vain.

In the last year, Nigerians have said ‘soro soke were’ i.e. talk to me direct or leave me, let me live. The VAT tussle is an example of this – we wait and watch on how that unfolds. States want to provide for their citizens and the parents clearly don’t believe these kids are grown enough. We at Serious understand this because sometimes our parents also tell us to sit down but as the coconut head generation, we will always find a way!

With love, light and a little wawa wowo

Emi gangan l’emi,

Lady Khaf

X Edition 

I’m dedicating this edition to my friend, a man of many colours. I use him as a cover for everyone who despite going through life with its many spanners and lemons, remains kind, hopeful and dedicated to living a life they can be proud of. Nigeria is difficult, humans are difficult but we have the capacity beyond our imagination to excel and thrive in chaotic situations. In this edition, we bring you some bleak news about the economy and  show you ways to manoeuvre for survival. We  prophesy that Nord and Innoson will become Benz. Amen? Amen. 

Lastly, credit is one of the ways to survive this economy. Get familiar, take risks and succeed.  Welcome again. I hope this edition leaves you blessed.

Lady Khaf

9th Edition 

The impact of covid and its scar is now being felt – unemployment higher, inflation higher, oil prices higher… Well what goes up must come down and in this edition, we travel round to promote buy Naija to grow the Naira and bring you all the economic info you need to make sound financial decisions. Most importantly, we help you check whether MAG9 are really drinking your money or they’re actually contributing to well-being by connecting us to the world. Thank you for keeping our lights on by reading edition after edition. I leave you with my inspiration for the moment and I hope it propels you too ‘You don’t have to worry and don’t you be afraid, Joy comes in the morning, troubles they don’t last always’.

Love always,

Lady Khaf

8th Edition

In this edition, we look at some of the lessons 2020 taught us – the most important being “Health is wealth.” When I prayed, I saw that someone on the team had seen the 2021 vision for Nigeria and all I know is that everyone must be on a steady we dey our lane grace and not lose guard. This is Nigeria, and anything you see, you just take it like that!

We all need multiple streams of income and I want to believe this is what drives some of the decisions in betting. It also gives hope that person fit blow at any time – aren’t we all taking bets by just existing? Especially in this Nigeria. 

In 2021, I just want to have fun, I just want to spend money. Join me guys, no de do like bolo o, let’s do this!

Lady Khaf

 

7th Edition

In this edition, we show you how local markets provide governance that ensures the society is moving and the economy is growing; how honestly, in this life I can’t kee myself, we must take wellness seriously-they say prevention is better than cure but more importantly, lets us not put an extra burden on the fragile health infrastructure. The real tea though, is in the information about hush mummy and sons – we must be always guiding on our bank accounts.

Happy 60th birthday Nigeria o, we thank you for all you have taught us. In your honour, we will relazz our navs and get taken care of this public holiday.

Lady Khaf.

6th Edition

In this edition, we will be reminded of what we need to do to make things better. From using technology to our advantage and keeping close to loved ones—(insert music emoji) facebook love waiting for your message on my wall; to chopping life in Nigeria through travel—japa, japa, ja lo Calabar—we are reminded that there are many advantages to localising our success. Ajo dabi le e, no matter where you go, make you no forget area o—we must buy naija to grow the naira. This has been a turbulent year, but do not despair; everything good will come.

Lady Khaf.

*Free N10,000 inside. Read to win. T&Cs apply.

 

5th Edition

“I hope that as you’re reading this, someone shouts “April Fool” and brings an end to what is going on in the world at the moment, because orisirisi nkan lo’n sele. 

Amidst the chaos, we hope this edition brings you some peace, knowledge, laughter and hope; from how we can power on with the sun on our side, to starting a second-hand fashion business, to how things move based on logistics and finally what all this means for our daily lives.

I leave you with words from the greatest philosopher of our time, Azeez Fashola: Coro behind our backs but +234 iwo mafo, stay happy and se jeje.

We hope and pray for a better day.

Yours, Lady Khaf.

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4th Edition

Happy new year, dear readers. We hope that the festivities brought you the joy and peace you deserve.

In this edition, there are no tips on how to relocate, but on how to be a Diva. Beyoncé tells us that a Diva is the female version of a hustler. Ok ladies, let’s get in formation… I’ve been waiting years to use that line in an editor’s note!

Obviously, Serious men can pick up some ideas too, because let’s face it—hustle no know man or woman. May 2020 be good to us all. Amen.

Yours, Lady Khaf.

3rd Edition

According to Frederick Douglass, one of the leaders of the anti-slavery movement, A battle lost or won is easily described, understood, and appreciated, but the moral growth of a great nation requires reflection, as well as observation, to appreciate it. This is the story of Nigeria; the story of strength, resilience and reflection.

Fifty-nine years down the line, we are celebrating a nation that is still standing despite all that has happened in its history and although we aren’t there yet, we have reasons to be proud; we still have rice, we have started producing pencils and toothpicks and we own the African entertainment industry (shout out to our African giants) have gone in diversifying our economy especially as our oil sector experienced a swell in expansionary momentum (that’s what our Professor said), a first since the first quarter in 2018.

Yours, Lady Khaf

2nd Edition

In this edition, we bring you all the things we love as a people – going to school (no, there are no tips on abroad schooling as a relocation mechanism), football (this is where the tip on japa- ing is) and music.

This is Serious though, a movement committed to grooming the everyday big man because in this our Nigeria, it’s only ‘if you get money, you be bros o’; so we found our way back to providing information on the latest economic happenings.

One piece of advice from there, if our country can be in debt, that meins what? you too can take a loan because times are hard – don’t be shy.

Yours, Lady Khaf

Maiden Edition

Welcome to the first edition of Serious – another publication talking about the Nigerian economy. 

This is for readers who hear all the stuff about inflation but Gala’s price has not changed and are wondering why we’ve been given the news; for those concerned about how the government’s budget affects their daily lives but aren’t interested in the Journal of Economic affairs. It is for the everyday genius, surviving Nigeria till Canada comes through! We hope you find this informative and entertaining and USEFUL especially for making daily economic decisions. 

Should I recycle? Should I sleep in some more? Am I going to be rich in this Next Level dispensation? In this edition, we hope you find the answers.

Yours, Lady Khaf

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